Thursday, June 17, 2010

My Date with Destiny

Well, his name was John.

John the Cyclops showed up at my door with a nice arrangement of flowers. I just looked at him. I looked at him like he was a monster. So he smiled. It was then that I had to admit that John the Cyclops was actually cute. He was a giant of a man, 6'6" at least. But he was cute and despite my drawing, he had short blonde hair that looked fun to run your hands through.

He handed over the pink roses, a nice choice over red despite tradition. Then he walked away. I shut the door and then set about wondering how John the Cyclops found out where I lived. Granted, my dorm is on campus but how did John the Cyclops find out that I lived in this particular dorm in this room? There are thousands of people on campus, so how did he find me?

Creepy.

I put the flowers in a huge cup with some sugar water. Then I let them sit on my desk.

It was morning, so I finished getting ready and then I went to class wondering about the creepy monster stalker I now had.

And so it was that I realized that I had molecular biology again. Well technically it was my second class. Now, I'm no scientist. Molecular biology was my misfortunate due to general education requirements. So, due to my lack of desire to fail or drop this course in lieu of a suckier one, I have to go everyday to make sure I learn about molecules. Unfortunately, John the Cyclops would be there.

This is what my perception of molecules look like:

He looks pretty happy to me, so why do we need to go about bothering him. He's happy, he doesn't need anyone poking a big needle in him (in this case, ANY needle is big because this little guy isn't even visible).

Honestly, I don't know if we can even stick needles in these things but if we could, this is what their day would be like:

Let me not be vague, their day would suck. Do you see that needle of death? It's FLAMING that's how bad it sucks.

And this is why I must attend class. My drawings are probably highly inaccurate.

So then I get to class and their is an empty seat right next to John the Cyclops and I thought, he is a giant and he is missing an eye, but you know what? That's okay because he's really cute and he got me flowers. Sometimes you have to give someone a chance.

I sat on the other side of the room.

Unfortunately, John didn't get the hint and he came over and sat next to me.

"Molly, I know we just met," John started and he sounded a lot more eloquent than Arthur I might add. "But I would really like to go out on a date with you."

He wasn't wearing his sunglasses anymore. I could see his big "I love you" eye staring at me and I wasn't repulsed but there was no way in hell I was going out to dinner with a cyclops. He is a cyclops for crying out loud. How low on the ladder do you have to drop when your only options are to date a cyclops? He is quite literally a monster.

I politely declined with a "Yes, I would like to do that."

He smiled and then I remembered how wonderfully attractive he was, despite the one eye, and his smile made me smile and we were both smiling.

4 comments:

  1. Poor little molecule... I sure hope his day isn't ruined anytime soon. He sure did look happy in the first picture.. =)

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  2. He seems to be doing okay. They have a whole semester of class to eff up his day unfortunately... those bastards!

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  3. It's absolutely criminal... poor guy is going to have to go into witness protection... because I'm sure he has the dirt on someone...

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  4. He's so small, people don't even notice him!
    Don't worry, I'll get him an uber body guard.

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Thanks for stopping by. What do you think of my life with monsters?